Confused...

I don't know why... but I'm deeply confused about myself... I wonder how I'm going to celebrate my upcoming birthday this June...

And the mere fact that I'm singing again "Almost in love" by Chemistry makes me more confused... Why?... Who's the girl I'm singing it for?....

Tears in the middle of war

Here I am facing the giants of pRO agit lords tournament....


I've already prepared myself from the pain that this war might bring.... yet sometimes we really don't know what will came upon us...


Last Monday I've received a call from my mother, she was crying... then she told me that our grandmother fell from that stairs of their house...


I didn't knew what to do.... I was torn to make a decision to leave the guild before the woe start or to be at the side of my grandmother...


Though I am the guild master, I think I also have the responsibility to be a grandchild for my grandmother...


It's hard to make a decision like that specially at the time of agit lords....


I have decided to be a grandchild for that day...


As I came at the house of my grandmother, I didn't knew what will I saw...


I greeted my grandmother and said "lola nandito na ako... ok lang kayo?" my grandmother replied...

"Mmm..."

"......"

Then my uncle suddenly talk.... "Hindi na makakilala.."

I was not emotionally prepared when I saw my grandmother in her condition... she suddenly became bedridden... the grandmother I known since childhood was a strong one...

I didn't knew It but I was already crying... I told myself "punyeta ano nangyari kay lola..."


I immediately called Christopher one of our nurse in the guild and told him what happen... he told me that my grandmother must be bought to the hospital ASAP.

I told my aunt that we must bring our grandmother to the hospital but it seems that they don't care that much...

My grandmother told them not to bring her to the hospital...

My aunt said "baka may kung ano pa mangyari sa lola niyo sa hospital"

I told myself "putang ina! mas walang mangyayari kay lola pag hindi dinala sa hospital.."

Then my uncle said "bukas dadalhin natin lola niyo sa hospital"

That night... All I did was crying...

I was mad at myself.. I can't do anything..

Tuesday came... I wake up early morning to return at my work place, I told my uncle that my mom will come here and they'll bring grandma to the hospital...

I've left without saying goodbye to my grandmother...

As the night came... I was worried that my mother haven't messaged me that they've already bring grandma to the hospital...

As Wednesday morning came my mother messaged me that they're bringing grandma to the hospital...

I was a bit disappointed... why did it take so long to bring grandma at the hospital...

12pm my mother messaged me that our grandmother is now at the hospital.

".........."

2pm my mother messaged me again, she told me that our grandma is fine and going home that day she just need to take her daily med, though her bones at the hips have cracked the doctor said it will heal trough time.

I was relieved...

4pm a friend of mine was online at yahoo messenger.

I instant message him and asked him how is he in the past few days...

he replied "wala malapit nako ma operahan kaya hinay hinay lang sa pag computer"

I was shocked...

"meh varicocele ako, ipapatanggal ko yung varicocele ko"

"hindi naman siya life threatening pero dapat lang tlga siya gawin"

He told me not to tell his condition at our other friends... I know it's not that life threatening. but I'm still worried...


Later that night

I was looking at my plurk timeline when "she" posted "after two years may crush na ulit ako"


I told myself "buti ka pa nakapag move on na... ako kelan kaya...." a tear fell from my eyes...

Because I'm still mad at myself for hurting her...

I shouldn't be thinking of these at this time of agit lords.... but I can't control my emotions....

Deep breath

Kagabi ang unang siege namin para sa Agit Lord may mga bagay na hindi ako inaasahan na nang yari... unang-una dalawang guild laban sa tatlong guilds... pangalawa kaya pala namin sila sa clash kahit lamang sila sa dami...


Na tapos ang siege at naka isang agit lang kami, ang lalim nang hinga ko... hindi ko makontrol... hindi nga agad pumasok sa isip ko ung mga nangyari matapos ung siege.


Kahit hindi nakuha ng Finest guild ang honor agit at na deny ung main agit na kinuha namin may mga magandang resulta parin para sa akin.


Pero naramdaman ko nanaman ulit ung dati kong nararamdaman nuon tuwing Agit Lord season... Ung excitement...

So be it!

Malapit na mag simula ang scoring ng Agit Lords at kami ang pangbato ng alliance namin sa phase two...


Eto na din ang possibleng huling laban ko... At eto na din ang magiging pinakamahirap sa buong RO career ko...


Nakataya na dito ang buong sarili ko... Nakataya na dito kung may silbi ba talaga akong bilang guild master ng guild... Nakataya na din dito ang future career ko sa RO... Nakataya na din dito ung pride ko sa pagiging LK, kung kaya parin ba makipagsabayan ng mga LK sa mga champs kapag Woe gaya nuong unang panahon sa RO... Nakataya na din dito ang pera ng guild... Nakataya na din dito ung pagiging member ko ng Revamped nuon dahil sigurado ako Bitzbox ang makakalaban namin... Ang guild na hindi namin matalo-talo nuon sa fenrir.... Pag kakataon ko na ito para ipaghiganti ung past efforts namin nuon... Nakataya na din dito ang efforts ng ibang guilds na kasama sa alliance... Nakataya na din dito ang effort ng buong guild... Nakataya na din dito ang Pangalan ko... At higit sa lahat nakataya na dito ang pangalan ng guild.

I Hope...

I'm returning home to valhalla... I just hope I'm not yet to late to fix myself as a guildmaster... I know I've have so many to come up with my members... It's just some of my IRL problems have pushed me to leave them back then... But I guess a have to start forgiving myself first before anything else...


I hope... I'm not yet late...

Summer Madness!

Movie title: Summer Wars

Genre: Action,Comedy


From the director of The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, Hosoda Mamoru.

The story is about Kenji, a high school student who works part time maintaining a virtual online world called Oz. Oz is just like your favorite MMORPG but instead of just games, services like banking,paying bills and other real life services are connected to Oz and can be used just by e-mail or cellphone. On the other hand Kenji has a crush on her sempai Natsuki whom invites him to work part time in the countryside over the summer. The job, Kenji finds, is to act like Natsuki's fiancé to please her Grandma!

As the story goes an A.I. virus called "Love Machine" starts unleashing hell on Oz and using the online infrastructure to throw the real world into utter chaos!

When watching this film one might feel like they are viewing a moving picture book, a family photo album turned back a few decades. The vibe is really Showa Era Japan, the good old days.

I won't say anything more about this movie because I don't want to spoil everyone.

The animation is good from the virtual world of Oz to the real world. Voice acting is also good and even the BGM the soft sound of summer!

Here are some screenshots from the movie.


Overall I'll rate it a 9.4/10

Leaving the impossible

Six years of playing pRO?

What can I say? NONE!! It's just sometimes I want to leave the whole community yet it's just impossible...


First and foremost the reason sometimes I want to leave the online gaming community FOR GOOD is because I just got tired... second is the pressure of being the guild master... it's just that some of my personal issues is being tied up because of too much playing... and third some financial issues... well you can't go head on other guilds without spending for ROK points...


And lastly... I'm just afraid that the girl I really love might stop playing because of me...


Yet I can't leave... The guild that started with only six members now grew to 20+ members. It became a family...


A guild that I can't leave because of that "family".